Bali High

Scott and Jenni had brought along one of the littlest boys from the Street Kids’ Home named Andre. He’s 3 ½, and very shy, and oh so precious. He’s not in school like the other kids, because he’s too young. So Scott or Jenni usually take him with them during the day if they go somewhere. He was excited to get to go swimming today and have a playmate. His story is unique, but reminiscent of all the others in the street kids’ home that Jenni and Scott help to run. Andre’s mom left he and his dad when he was very young. His dad then had a large bout of depression, because he couldn’t work and had to care for Andre, but he needed to work to make money. One day he decided to kill himself and Andre with him by burning down the house. He had even put gasoline on himself and Andre when a Christian neighbor lady intervened. She told him he could kill himself if he wanted, but he shouldn’t take the life of Andre, too. She told him about the Bali street kids’ home, and the father consented to send him there. Yeah, his story is reminiscent, because there are others there with similar stories. One little boys mother tried to hang him, other kids were employed in to prostitution as children by their father or brother. It’s mind boggling in this country how little value and worth an individual has. People abandon their kids or sell them into prostitution and abuse them at alarming rates. Their cultural values begin to betray their cultural beliefs about human worth: The human individual means very little. Scott and Jenni see this over and over again, almost daily.

Andre’s father did come visit him once, but Andre was so scared of him he wouldn’t see him. I can’t even imagine what that would be like to be that scared of my parent.

So we had a toddler morning incident at breakfast today. Declan fell in the small (shallow, ankle deep) pond that surrounded the outdoor breakfast area. We can laugh about it now, because it was kind of funny. Declan kept trying to touch the fish with a leaf and he kept leaning over further and further till he fell in. Not head first, thank God! Just wet from the feet to his chest. Of course, he wailed and everyone came running. And all the hotel workers helped us get his clothes off and checked him for scrapes and brought him a towel, which we wrapped him in for the rest of breakfast. Of course, he removed the towel fast and ran around in his underwear. Really, funny. Yip! That’s the American kid there in his wet underwear running around like a cowboy. And yes, here they don’t care if kids run amok in the grounds. In fact, the Indonesian hotel workers are almost like built-in babysitter hotel perks. I remember last time we were in Kuta we went to a small restaurant and the waitresses and hostess minded Declan the whole time, passing him back and forth and playing with him. They really do joyfully mind the kids. After Declan fell in, he had a constant Indonesian “mother” shadowing him everywhere he went. Of course, I’m sure they thought we were bad parents for letting our kid fall in. But it was a good lesson for him to learn—logical consequences. After that, he didn’t lean over so much to touch the fish.

So after the hype of the pond incident, we got to know Samuel, our new nephew. He’s only a few weeks old, and ever so cute. I think I mentioned in an earlier blog entry that he is half Javan and half Australian. A beautiful little boy who wouldn’t have had the chance to live had his mother gone through with the abortion. But his tale, I’m afraid, is going to be long. Particularly because adoption is such a sticky issue here in Bali. In Indonesia, the largest Muslim country in the world, adoption is illegal (Like most Muslim countries, adoption is illegal even amongst their own citizens. I don’t really understand this, as one of the tenents of Islam is to take care of orphans and widows. You just can’t make them your own family, I guess). Very strange. And since Bali is one of the islands in Indonesia, it’s possible it could become illegal here in the near future. As it now stands, each island is self-governed, so the laws on adoption presently in affect in Bali are open to adoption, though with many restrictions. However, there is a big central governmental push for all of the islands in Indonesia to come under the direct law and governance of the larger Indonesia. If this were to happen then this would result in the illegality of adoptions in Bali. Currently, in order to adopt in Bali you have to have lived here on a permanent resident Visa for 5 years and be able to speak fluent Indonesian. Then, after that period of time, it takes another 3 years of getting all the correct signatures from officials, which usually involves some influence and $$$$ (bribery, of course). Money speaks, right? So in order for them to legally adopt Samuel and get him a US passport, it will take approximately 8-10 years. But they are committed to raising him even if they can never get legal adoption. Of course, the consequence of this is that they would not be able to travel with him outside of Bali because they won’t have a passport for him. And the other current obstacle is that the businessman who signed as father (though he’s not the real father) actually wants to be Samuel’s father, even though he doesn’t want to be the one to raise him. Scott and Jenni say this is very cultural—to appear to be the father of a son, even if you only see him a few times in his life. It’s very obscure, but the businessman has made mention of wanting to be the father, so they have to get him to agree to them adopting Samuel so that he will sign off it, since he is listed as the father (he paid for the birth, so the woman wouldn’t get an abortion). Anyway, Samuel’s story is sure to be long, but just holding him it’s a true blessings he’s alive, and not dead.

So we spent most of the day swimming in the kiddie pool. Swimming is great because it wears Declan out. I remember being a kid and just getting SO tired from swimming. I always slept well after swimming. So we brought the kids back to our room and while they napped Dave and I hung out on the Balinese daybed on the porch and just enjoyed the breeze. With the kids asleep, we actually felt like we were on vacation. It was great.


After the boys woke up, we explored the hotel grounds and let Declan play at the playground—something I think every hotel should have. It’s a really great hotel for kids, and being right on the beach is a plus.

So in the early evening we headed to the Blue Fin restaurant for some great sushi. We were starved from forgetting to eat lunch today, so I think I’d have eaten anything they put in front of me. Last time we were at the Blue Fin was just before Scott and Jenni’s wedding. It was Scott, Jenni, Dave, Me, Rebecca, Justin (Jenni’s brother) and Jessica and Travis (her sister and brother-in-law). Tonight we laughed at being here with kids instead. We had Samuel and Andre, a pregnant Jenni, Declan and Dashel . It was funny to see where we’ve come in less than 2 years from our last dinner here.

At dinner we talked about he Expat community here and how they seem to try and insulate themselves from the real Bali. They don’t really mix in, wanting to stay far from the fray. And the more Scott talked the more I became convinced that you have to want to be here and not try to change everything. You really have to love the people beyond the differences that can infuriate you at times. You have to be able to bear with all the inconsistencies in the culture, and the cultural differences. To live here as an Expat, you have to want to be here with these people. Otherwise, it seems foolish to be living here.

We walked back to the hotel full and ready for the pillow.


Oh, and as a side note: For those of you in on the earlier blog entry about hotel cleaners, the Balinese clean their own rooms. I guess it’s true: In Third World Countries their own people clean their hotel rooms.