It Takes a Village

Kudos to Dave for being such a trooper and keeping up with work amidst cranky and sick kids, and an even sometimes cranky and sick wife. Working on a trip with kids around can be a bit tricky. We're doing our best to work around them. When we were in Dubai I went to Darcey's house while Dave did the McAlvany Weekly Commentary (check it out at www.mcalvany.com) over the phone from the hotel room. And this morning Dave and his dad did the Commentary from the apartment, at 7AM. He piled the kids in our bed with me last night, and he slept on the couch, so he wouldn't have to move Declan to our room before 7AM, being that he was sick and feeling awful. So I slept between Dashel and Declan last night. Did I say sleep? How Freudian. Actually, I meant to say lack of sleep. Yes, for you mothers out there with little ones, you know that all the kids in the bed equates to a terrible night's sleep. No sleep. This is the first time we've ever done this. We've never had BOTH kids in bed at the same time sleeping with us. I can say with certainty I'm not too hurried to try it again.

My up-all-night stint did allow Dave to get enough rest to do the show at 7 AM. But after the show I asked if he'd get the kids (who had by now woken up) and let me sleep for another hour or so. I was exhausted. I guess all those years of sleeping in as a preteen and teenager somehow got stored in my body, so I don't actually feel so bad going on little sleep. It's weird, but though I wake up having had little sleep, I can usually charge through the day unscathed and still not go to bed early. God's grace for moms, I think.

So today I stayed home with the kids while Dave and Don went to all day meetings, and Molly ran around town getting last minute items. She had to chase down a back-up Mac battery for Scotty (Dave's brother)'s Powerbook laptop. They can't order them and have them shipped to Indonesia, so he asked if we could find one here. Molly spent 3 hours today having sales clerks hunt down one from an official Mac parts and repair shop in Singapore. She finally found it.

I do have to say that taking care of a sick toddler is much easier than taking care of a healthy toddler. I mean, when they are sick they usually just lay around and watch cartoons and sleep. Much easier than chasing them around all day. I know it sounds awful--I mean, I don't wish sickness on my kids. All I'm saying is that when they are sick, it's easy being a mom. That's all. The hard part is watching your kid sizzle like a radiator. No joking. I held Declan and before I even had him in my arms I could feel the heat eminating from him. He had about a 104 temp. That's the hard part.

When Molly got home she ushered me off to the bath and told me to lock the door and stay in there for a little personal soaking time. It was much needed and I relished it, like all the little "me" moments I can sneak here and there. Tonight Dave and I had a big date at the Raffles Hotel, a place I've wanted to visit for over 15 years now. It's the quintessential Colonial hotel, and I've always dreamed of eating there. Silly, really, but that's me. I know how much Dave likes it when I look "classy"--you know, the Audrey Hepburn look. So I wore this great shirt dress with a turned up collar and cute gold sandals, a la Audrey. It was a big hit with the hubby, and even Dave's dad loved the dress so much he and Molly are going to look for the same style for Molly tomorrow. We headed over to Raffles while Molly and Don watched the kids. They had some Singaporian friends coming over to chat and eat while they watched the kids, which I'll talk more about later. But it was so nice to be out sans the normal "appendages". I wasn't "wearing" a little one, nor was I minding the eating habits of a toddler. I was just me. And Dave and I had a lovely evening together.

Sometimes the nostalgia or hopefulness of something in actuality falls short of the ideal it was made out to be. That's the way I felt about the Raffles. It was a lovely evening with Dave, but the actual hotel fell short of the idea of it I had in my mind. Funny how that happens. The expectation is often a letdown. I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting, but I guess it just didn't match up. I probably shouldn't have had expectations, that way there is no expectation to meet and no let down when it is not met. Anyway, it is a lovely hotel, just not as lovely as I had imagined. I don't know, maybe I was expecting the Colonial era to be alive and well today. The nostalgia for planters coming in from Malay for the weekend, under genteel circumstances, to partake in a glorious bastion to the whole Colonial era. It's kind of how I feel about Out Of Africa. In fact, one of the reasons I knew Dave was "the one" is that he reminded me of Robert Redford's character, Deny Finch-Hatton, in Out of Africa--this rugged hunter and pilot who could spends months in the outback being "a man" and come back, take a shower, and put on a tuxedo and go to a formal party. I LOVED that! And Dave is alot like that. He still feeds my nostalgia that way. Okay, so I could write a whole thesis on nostalgia, but I'll spare you. Needless to say there was one great asset of the Raffles Hotel who made the evening for me, and his name is Jimmy Darling. Yes, you read that correctly. I heard his playing from outside the hotel and new I'd be happy just listening to him. He is, in essence, a throwback to the Colonial times, where there always would have been live music playing in the hotel. And Jimmy Darling is their hotel pianist extraordinaire. He's a 69 year old African-American from Little Rock, Arkansas. He's lived all over the world, played everything from Carnegie Hall to bars in Morocco. In fact, he reminds me of the piano player in Rick's, from Casablanca. Remember that? "Play it again, Sam." Anyway, he was sassy and kind. Jimmy gabbed with us from the moment we walked over to his piano. Come to find out he's a Christian, and we found it funny when he would throw in hymns here and there and no one seems to notice. He even sang Jesus Loves Me to a tourist's little boy. He told us all sorts of stories--like alot of older people like to do, if you'll just listen. People love to tell their stories, so they aren't forgotten when they are gone. Anyway, he told us stories about Arabs in Morocco who would come to the bar he played in and ask him to play the Jesus songs for them. He said they'd say "Jimmy, I want to hear the Jesus songs again." They meant the hymns about Jesus. That's pretty powerful. I told him God used his hands to speak His Truth to those who would listen. After our dinner at the Tiffin Room we headed back over to have some drinks and listen to Jimmy play his magic in The Writer's Bar. He is this amazing asset to the hotel, because he makes every person who walked through the door feel at home, like they belong. He sets a tone, a mood, and just "love on people" (his words). He knew many tourists on a first name basis and just talked with everyone and welcomed them all. It was a true gift of hospitality, and it was such a blessings to have met him here in Singapore, of all places. I've attached a video of him playing the piano.

As a side note, the Raffles is known for being the inventor of the Singapore Sling, a juicy alcoholic drink. So Dave took me to The Long Bar, the famous Raffles bar, where I had my first Singapore Sling. It was momentous, and touristy and fun. Come to find out they sell over 10,000 Singapore Slings a day at the Long Bar. At $11 a drink, you do the math. That's a lot of money from just one drink. Also, the Tiffin Room restaurant was like eating in a slice of history, because they serve this really extravagent Indian buffet, and their prized dish is a masala buttered curry whose recipe dates back to the beginning of Raffles as an institution. Plantation owners and travelers would go there on Sundays to partake of this same curry. They became famous for it. Anyway, it was fun to eat the same curry eaten by visitors over 100 years ago.

So we got home about 10:30 PM. We opened the door to Brandon saying "shhhhh, they are finally sleeping". Seems that between the two kids, it took 4 adults to babysit. Molly said they passed the crying Dashel around as Molly and Don took turns tending to Declan to get him to sleep in our room. I was trying to picture 4 adults in my mind with 2 crying kids and a bit of anxiety permeating the air. It made me laugh. Oh well, I thought, at least they are asleep now. Though it must have been funny for Brandon, because he's never had kids and I thought "what an introduction!". You know, as that "old sage" Hilary once wrote, "it takes a village to raise a child".